I am now about a week sober. I fell off the self-improvement wagon about a month ago. I stopped reading my affirmations on the daily. I read no devotions. I did no daily planks. I stopped planning out my daily agendas the night before. I was lazy. I was upset with myself and feeling bad about myself. I turned to Netflix for comfort and that only made me feel worse. I was stressed and felt like I couldn’t be motivated to do what I needed to do.
The start of my journey back on the strait and narrow was a podcast. Not just any podcast, but Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. And not just any episode, but the first one ever and with Kristen Bell, his lovely wife. I had heard it before, but I wanted to listen again. Man am I glad I did. They talk about many wonderful things and the beauty of their relationship shines through in the podcast, but what I really enjoyed was when they talked about happiness versus suffering. Kristen said this principle is what helps her make her decisions in life. She doesn’t get hung up on her losses because that would make her suffer. When she or Dax start the day on the wrong foot, they refer to their lists of what lifts their spirits. They choose to do this because they would rather be happy than suffer.
After their wisdom shown upon me (I really felt like it was directed at me), I thought about my unmotivated life at the present moment. I was being led by Netflix and food, which doesn’t sound so bad until you are shirking your responsibilities to partake in these two activities. I needed to change something or I wasn’t going to finish my last college application (update: I got it in!). I wasn’t going to read the book for my upcoming Grammar and Comp class (update: I read most of it!). I wasn’t going to clean my clothes-littered room. It was a mess. Correction, I was a mess.
Okay, I am probably exaggerating a bit, but honestly not too much. I was in a cycle of feeling bad about myself for watching Netflix all the time, but making no moves to do anything better. I also wasn’t working out at all. I have a newfound love for Tae Bo with Billy Blanks. I won’t get into it now, but I will share my obsession soon. Anyway, that podcast gave me some of the motivation I needed. I thought about my own happiness list. What could I be doing to feel happy and get out of this less-than-stellar cycle? I needed to start up my daily ritual again. I wrote out what I wanted to complete that day. I finally finished The Four Agreements, a fabulously wonderful book. I will tell you about that soon too. Guess what affirmation I found in those final pages of the book? The author wrote about happiness versus suffering. This is relevant when interacting with others and yourself. Wow. Talk about just what I needed to read. That gave me more motivation to continue on with my list.
I read my daily affirmations. Check. I read my Jesus Calling devotional for the day, and I even looked up the scriptures that it gives instead of my past behavior of being too lazy to do that part (be extra proud of me for that one). Check. I cleaned up my clothes and separated out my laundry. Check. I did my Tae Bo workout with Billy Blanks. Check. I showered. Check. I worked on my college application. Check, check, check. I am not sharing all of this to show off. Although, I am pretty proud of myself, so I do want some validation. I am sharing this because I did it (again, I’m only slightly searching for validation). I am mostly saying that if I can do it, you can do it too. Get out your list of things to do that spark a fire in yourself to get crap done and be happy. If you don’t already have one, make one. Start today by choosing happiness over suffering in your own life. Once you give yourself that luxury, I can almost completely guarantee (you have to leave room for some error) that you will choose happiness over suffering when you interact with others.
Life is a choice. You can waste away the day and feel sorry for yourself or you can actively choose to correct your own less-than-stellar behavior. You can choose to do the things that make you feel happy and accomplished. I can positively say that I am more than a few days sober from being lazy and doing nothing but procrastinating accomplishments. Things are looking up. This does not mean that I cut out Netflix from my diet for good, but I am actually following my rules of only a couple episodes per day. Don’t read this and think, There is no way that I can have my act together as much as this wonderfully talented and beautiful Hannah. Believe me, it’s not hard to surpass my low level of having myself together. If I can make myself proud, surely you can too.
Faking It Made 