Blog – Page 3 – Faking It Made

Anything Can Excite

Last weekend I hopped in the passenger side of my best friend’s mom’s ride, and we embarked on a trip to the big city. It was a weekend with no parents, and we got crazy. I am actually exaggerating most of what I just told you. Yes, we did take Sarah’s mom’s car, but the “big city” we went to was Kansas City. It’s still a city, but it is in no way in the league of big cities like Chicago and NYC. Also, yes there were no parents, but we did not get crazy in the traditional sense of the word. Here, I will just give you the full story.

On Saturday morning, my friend Sarah and I drove the few hours to KC. We headed straight for the plaza to do some shopping. I got some great deals. I bought jeans from Express (the best place ever to buy jeans) for $30 (they were originally $88). Pretty amazing, right? Later, at good old H&M, I found a cute basic t-shirt for $10 and a really cute black button-up skirt for $25. I spent a little bit more than I usually would for a skirt from that store, but I loved it and I knew I would get use out of it. Needless to say, I was very pleased with my purchases. It was also raining the whole time we were walking around, so that was fun. Once we were shopped out, we headed to our hotel at Crown Center.

We valeted the car all by ourselves and checked into our hotel all by ourselves. We felt like such adults. It was pretty great. After exploring our hotel room, we got ready for a delectable dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. There is a parking garage attached to the restaurant. Usually it is pretty full and you have to totally luck out if you want a spot. Well, we lucked out. I am pretty sure we got the last spot in the whole garage. We headed into the restaurant to put our names in. We did that ALL BY OURSELVES I might add. We had about a 30 minute wait and then were seated. When we sat down, our napkins were folded pretty poorly. Sarah and I work at a restaurant, and we fold our napkins in a very nice looking way. I’m not even going to try to explain how we do it or what they look like, but just know that they look very nice. Seeing the poor folding job in front of us, Sarah and I decided to fold our napkins the way we fold them at work. We waited to see if our server would notice. He did and was very impressed. He wanted us to teach him how, so that he could start doing that at the restaurant. We happily taught him, hoping that we had revolutionized Cheesecake Factory forever and would get a discount on our meal. The discount never happened, but I’m still waiting on the whole revolutionizing thing.

An exciting thing I discovered at Cheesecake Factory that fateful day was that they have a skinnylicious menu. I have mentioned that I have been trying to eat healthier, and that did not change while I was on vacation. I was super excited. Everything on this special menu was less than 595 calories. That is amazing for a restaurant, and it was going to make me feel so much better about eating a large piece of cheesecake (my diet didn’t stretch as far as me not getting dessert at Cheesecake Factory of all places). I ordered spicy chicken tacos with a vegetable salad. It was quite amazing. Then it was time for dessert. I ordered the Godiva chocolate cheesecake. It was SO GOOD. I was unbelievably happy with the tastes that had entered my mouth. Then a crappy thing happened. I took a drink of water and Sarah made me laugh. This was a bad combination because water came out of my nose and burned my throat. Suddenly all of the happy tastes were gone and my throat was just burning. Of course that was the time that our server decided to show up with the check. I was holding my napkin up to my nose trying not to look like an idiot. I don’t think it worked. A little bit later, I took another drink. I bet you can guess what happened next; Sarah made me laugh. More water poured from my nose and the napkin was repositioned in front of my face. Once again, the server took this opportunity to bring back our check. It was great. I still enjoyed my time and it was quite funny, but it would have been nice if I didn’t end the night with a burning throat from water pouring out of my nose in a crowded restaurant.

Me on top of the parking garage after Cheesecake.

The next day, Sarah and I went to St. Joseph (an hour north of KC) to see her college. We hung out there all day, and I won’t bore you with the details because there is really not a whole lot to do in St. Joe. I think the people who live there agree with me. One thing I will say is that we went to a Red Racks Thrift Store, and I found the deal of my life. I am doing a project in my room that I need empty white VHS cases for. I will tell you all about it at a later date. Anyways, I had looked online for the cases and they are ridiculously expensive. It’s honestly really annoying. I knew I wanted to see if a thrift store would have what I needed. Man did they have what I needed. I bought eight VHS tapes in white cases for only $4.64. I don’t think I will ever shop at a regular store again. That was the bargain of the century, and I will forever be grateful.

We ate dinner at the food court in the mall attached to the hotel we stayed at. You might be thinking, Wow, a food court will not have any healthy food. She really must not be serious about this whole healthy eating thing. If that was you, you would be wrong. We ate at a restaurant called Unforked. Their name is a play on the fact that they don’t have harmful additives and other stuff in their food. I ordered a burger that was only 500 calories (again, that is really good for a restaurant). It was a mushroom burger with brussel sprouts. You might think that sounds disgusting, but it was honestly delicious. It only came with the burger, so I was still hungry. I decided to order some dessert, but no this was not “bad” dessert. I got a raspberry drink that was made with raspberries, non-fat yogurt, and ice. Let me know if I’m wrong, but that is a pretty healthy alternative to pretty much any other dessert I could have gotten. I went to bed that night with a happy tummy.

On Monday morning, we got up and got ready to leave. We checked out and headed to brunch. I chose this cute breakfast place called Eggtc. It was so cute. I was in an adventurous mood and was wanting to reward myself a little for eating well. Maybe that isn’t the best logic, but I’m not mad about it. I ordered a crepe that had salmon and eggs in it. It was topped with hollandaise sauce, capers, and tomatoes. For my side, I got fresh fruit. I know that the crepe wasn’t the healthiest thing, but it also wasn’t the worst thing for me. I did scrape off some of the sauce and capers. I don’t really like hollandaise sauce nor is it good for me, so I don’t really know why I ordered it. I guess I was just in the mood for it, and I did enjoy my food. It wasn’t my favorite, but I did it to myself. We left the restaurant and headed for Kauffman Memorial Gardens. We found this place online, and I’m really glad that we went. It was beautiful. Sarah and I took pictures there and hung out for a little bit.

After that, we jumped back in the car and went shopping for one last thing: shoes. I looked up shoe stores, and we went to a couple that were on our way out of town. These stores ended up being for comfortable shoes, aka ugly shoes. We walked in and out. It was a quick trip. We grabbed some coffee for the ride home. I got an iced almond milk latte, which is something new that I have been trying, but I actually really like it. I got home that night very tired and happy that I had adulted for a whole weekend.

I’m not sure how many people will actually take the time to read this whole thing, but I am writing it because it was a fun trip. I doubt many people really care to read about a trip I go on, but I took away fun memories and experiences I want to share. I also want to remember them. I love to get deals when I shop. I love to eat yummy food that is relatively good for me. I love to hang out with Sarah, my best friend. I love to pretend to be an adult and be proud of my responsibility. It is a lot of fun. This goes back to the little victories in life. It is so much fun to have a positive outlook on every experience you go into. I’m not always positive and I do complain (mostly for dramatics but still). I like to find the funny parts of life and celebrate my successes. It is a fabulous way to live. I hope everyone finds what makes them happy, whether it is finding great thrift store deals or eating all of the hollandaise sauce their heart desires.

Unpopular Messaging

Buzz, buzz. My head turns. I think, Wow I’m popular. Someone wants to talk to me. This kind of thinking is just setting me up for failure, but that’s where my mind goes first. I reach for my phone, the tension building. Who will it be? I look at the screen. At this point, I see one of three things. Either someone sent me their snapchat streak for the day (pretty likely), my mom texted me (very likely), or I received a news article update (extremely likely). Okay so I am not a huge texter, and I don’t really start conversations. That doesn’t really give me the right to feel even the slightest bit upset that no one texts me, but still my brain goes there first. I get excited and let down all in the span of a minute.

When I get a snapchat message, I get happy. I get to communicate with my friends solely through pictures of our faces or of our immediate surroundings. It’s fun to see their faces every day, especially when I don’t really get to see them in person. Sometimes, though, I’m just not feeling the whole send a quick picture just to keep the streak going. Pretty much every “conversation” on there is surface-level. Very rarely do we actually send messages. Sometimes I just want to delete the app because I don’t want to deal with it and I don’t want the distraction. On the other hand, I don’t want to miss out. I don’t want to lose contact with my friends. It is a slippery slope.

When my mom texts me, I am happy to talk to her. She is so encouraging and lovely. She is my best friend, and I love her very much. The common teenager does not usually only receive texts from their mom. Or they would not admit that. Well, I am not the common teenager. I have never been one to hang out with my friends only to take pictures and stare at my phone screen. When I was in middle school and I was hanging out with my friend group, they would be texting a bunch of people and snapchatting and instagramming. I would just look at my phone and pretend to be doing something because that is less awkward than sitting there quietly not staring at a phone screen. I would have looked like a total outcast. Needless to say, my friendships with those people dwindled.

I have never really felt like I fit in with people my age. I don’t want to go hang out only to be on my phone or take 20 million pictures or talk about what’s on my phone or the 20 million pictures I just took and which one I should post. Being a teenager means that yes, I have thought about those things and I do work hard to come up with great captions for my Instagram pictures. That is not all I do though. That is not all I want to do either. I want to build relationships and not worry about if my text has the right tone to it, or if I’m interpreting what someone else sent me in the correct way. That means that I do not utilize social media the same way as other kids my age or for the same reasons. When I post something, it is because I like it and I want to share it. It is not because I think it will get me a lot of likes. Again, I’m not saying I don’t think about the likes and stuff, but I don’t make them my sole purpose. I am not saying that all kids my age are only in it for the likes, but that is how it feels to me sometimes.

When my phone lights up with a news article update, I am downright disappointed. It’s not that I don’t care about what is going on around me. It is that I am usually not pleased with what I read. I would also much rather be getting a message from a friend of mine or my mom. I hate all of the political crap going on in the country. I am not going to get too political, but every time I get a message, I pray that it is not about something stupid that Trump has done that is going to get us all killed or restrict our liberties or make it easier for people to get guns and terrorize neighborhoods and schools everywhere. Okay, rant over. I am just frustrated with most of the news I receive and what makes the news nowadays. I love it when an article shows up on my phone from National Geographic or another outlet about something cool someone has done or discovered. I also love stories about animals, but I don’t like them if they’re sad.

I just want the world to be a better place. I want it to be a place where everyone is equal in everyone’s minds. I want it to be a place where animals aren’t dying because of crap humans are putting into the environment. I want it to be a place where people want to come together and talk: face-to-face. I want it to be a place where positivity lights up the news and everyone’s lives. I want it to be a place where people don’t feel the need to be on their phones all of the time.

That thinking may be unrealistic, but I don’t think it has to be. It can start with you and me. One thing I can do is not complain about things not happening for me that I don’t even want, like receiving text messages. I don’t text, so why do I want people to text me? Or maybe that’s just paradoxical thinking. Anyways, I can be confident in who I am and what I want and look on the bright side. I can also not compromise who I am to feel more comfortable around people. I can speak up and form relationships. I don’t have to be passive and wait for people to get off their phones to hang out with me. I can get involved in politics in my area. If I don’t like what is going on, I can use my voice in that way too. Lastly, I can try to change what makes something newsworthy. I want to be a journalist, and I do really enjoy writing the big stories concerning politics, scandals, and anything else that shows up on the local and national news. However, I want the challenge of finding a personal interest story. I want to write about something positive and potentially make a difference. I want to learn how helping others and journalism go together and make a career out of it. I will work on that. For now, I will try to be more positive and confident. Because I, like you, am awesome! I, like you, can do it!

Young Dreams

Today is the day I tell you about a friend of mine named Mocha. He is really cute, tiny, and an all-around good little creature. Okay, okay I will tell you. Mocha is my chihuahua. He is so incredibly adorable. I will try to stop writing about how cute he is but just know that it will be hard.

When I was little, I wanted a dog of my own so badly. I would walk my stuffed animal around with a leash and pretend he was real live dog. I told my mom I wanted a dog so bad and that I would buy him and take care of him. Well, I actually wanted a girl, but in life you don’t always get what you want. Anyways, I started searching online for puppies. You probably know this, but puppies are ridiculously more expensive than adult dogs. When I first started my search, I was looking for a bulldog or corgi puppy (my favorite breeds) for an affordable cost. That means I would be able to work something out based on my 10-year-old allowance and any extra money from birthdays, chores, Christmas, etc. Needless to say, the puppies I found online that were those breeds were WAY too expensive. Although after buying the dog I bought, it really would not have been that much more.

The second phase of my search took place at Petland. I know; Petland is not known for their great treatment of animals. When I was 10 I didn’t really understand that, but at least I got my puppy out of a bad situation even if that did mean giving money to the enemy. I went there with an idea of what I could spend based on my allowance and monthly payments I could make to my mom to pay off the dog. I wanted a small dog that would behave and be loving and sweet. Basically the dream dog. We looked at one dog that was really cute but a little too wound up for me.

Next I saw him, this tiny, black and brown chihuahua that was so incredibly and wonderfully cute. I didn’t expect myself to go for a chihuahua, but he freaking stole my heart. Colleen, the lady who was helping us with our search, told us that he was $700. That is a lot, I know. I really loved him, and my mom and I were trying to see if I could make it work. I called my dad to get his opinion. I ended the call in tears because my dad didn’t approve. He told me that he didn’t want me to become a stuck-up girl with a lap dog and be in debt. That really tore me up, but I knew that puppy was the one. I had already given him the name Mocha, and it was perfect. My mom’s card was approved for the purchase, and I took that as a sign. A family had tried to buy him the day before and their card was declined. That was another sign. Basically the fates aligned and now I have my adorable, beautiful puppy. The price did increase though because Petland makes you buy all of this puppy care stuff, so that may not have been a sign. It doesn’t matter though because I still got my puppy.

Mocha is now seven years old. I am proud to say that I paid him off in six months. I take care of his medical bills and his food and water. The water really breaks the budget, but we make it work. Actually, my mom has pitched in with his food a lot and the water comes with the house, so I am not completely a financially independent mother. Mocha is a little bit obsessed with me, but that is just how all dogs are. Sometimes he gets annoying and clingy, but I love him all the same.

I am telling this story because I wanted something so bad when I was 10 years old that I just did it. I followed a “dream,” if you will. Because of a decision I made at such a young age, I have learned more about responsibility, love, and happiness than I ever would have without taking a chance. I am so thankful for my puppy and proud of my 10-year-old self. I look back and want to approach all of my life like I did back then. I want to take risks and be responsible. I want to defy the odds. Every kid says that they will take care of the new family pet, but then the mom always ends up doing it all. I stuck to my word. Yes, my mom has helped out some because that is in her nature, but Mocha is my dog. This story may show you something in your life that you need to just go for. You need to approach your situation as a 10-year-old with a dream. If you try that, what you are able to accomplish might surprise you.

Little Victories

Okay so growing up sucks. I don’t even have to fully grow up yet and I’m already tired of it. I really am. I get so stressed and nervous to do adult-like things. Today I had to go to the car servicing place to get my car serviced. Obviously. I had no idea what to do. You have to pull into the open walkway type thing, and I felt like that was something I should never do. I don’t feel like it’s normal to drive through a building even if it has an opening large enough for a car. I was obviously confused. I asked a lady if I had to pull farther or just park there. I felt some judgment and attitude from her. Both are things that I don’t appreciate when I have no idea what I’m doing and just need some guidance. Anyways, a lady came over and started looking at the car. She took the mileage and asked what I wanted to do. I needed an oil change and a safety inspection because I had been driving around with expired plates and didn’t even know until now. Which of course now that I know, I’m going to get pulled over the instant I start driving.

So here I am, starting to sweat with a puzzled look on my face, and I am waiting to hear the verdict. There were three other things the car needed. Did I mention that I had tennis in an hour and was trying to squeeze this in? Well that’s what was happening. I started sweating a bit more. My tennis bag and water bottle were still in the car, which they had already pulled into the garage thingy. I told the lady that I needed to get those out. Keep in mind, during this whole experience I have NO IDEA what I am doing. When this happens, I get very awkward- more so than my usual awkward charm. She walked me back there to get my stuff out. I called my mom to tell her the new things that needed to be done. Blah, blah, blah. She came to pick me up to go to tennis. Then we had to go back to pick up the car before I had to be at work at 6:00.

I am writing about this because yes I did just conquer some form of adulting by going by myself to do this, but I also was sweating and stressing and unsure of what to do the entire time. Then my mom had to come get me. That’s not necessarily conquering car service like a pro. Okay so I am kind of beating myself up about this. I need to look on the bright side: I got through it without preparation. That says a lot for me because I am a planner and usually need to know every step of what to do before I get myself into something. So I did it. Yay! I want to be a pro at everything even if I’ve never done anything like it before. There is nothing wrong with that until it makes you a nervous wreck who feels stupid for not knowing the ins and outs of car maintenance. I need to be proud. Which I am. I took a step into the adult world. I don’t have to be completely ready yet, and that’s okay.

Wow, I hope that was as inspirational as it seemed to me. Even if you don’t view it that way, it helped me change my thinking about how I handled what I would consider to be a stressful situation not necessarily with ease, but hey, I got through it.

Maybe this will be something that is comparable to something going on in your own life. You’re never too old or too young to feel stressed about a new experience. Cherish each little victory. Learn to look on the bright side. And yes I know- that is way easier said than done.

Turning Over a New Tree

Food and Netflix are really near and dear to my heart. They are not the best for personal health however. I was raised to not waste food and finish the food on my plate. With that mentality comes overeating and lots and lots of bloating. Recently, I finally felt like I had had enough. I was not feeling as confident in my own skin and that upset me. In the past, I have said that I was going to work out every day and eat healthier. Shortly after “making that change,” I would relax in my bed and watch Netflix, eat dinner, and eat dessert. Well, that is not me anymore.

Starting the first of July (almost a week ago), I have been eating healthier. My mom and I have made some delicious meals. One of which was amazing lemon-garlic shrimp and grits. I will add the link to the recipe because it was freaking delicious. If I want sweets, I have a little bit of dark chocolate. Or I made nice cream the other night. Never heard of nice cream? It is a delicious and easy treat. All you do is freeze a banana (peel it first- I learned that the hard way). Then you blend it into an ice-cream-like substance. I am sure there are recipes where you can add more to it, but just that was pretty darn great. Next time I’m going to add peanut butter. Yum!

Now for exercise. I have tennis four of the five weekdays, and I get a really good work out doing that. For good consistency, I have been doing some sort of an ab “workout” before bed. Sometimes that means getting on the Nike Training Club app (it is great BTW) and doing a 15 minute ab workout. Other times that means doing a one minute plank. I change it up, but I at least do something. Today, since I don’t have tennis, I am going to do some Just Dance on my wii. It sounds silly, but it is actually a good workout. It is also very very fun. I probably look like an idiot, but I am too busy burning calories to care.

I am writing this post not to show off or pat myself on the back. I am extremely proud of myself though. I am sharing this because it is never too early or late to work on yourself. I have a major problem with following through with things in my personal life. At school I work hard and succeed because I want good grades. At home, however, I don’t get grades. I get lazy because I feel like I can’t stick with changes I want to make. This thought process has been perpetuated from time and time again of not following through, not finishing what I start, not doing that one minute plank before bed. I finally hit a point where I was ready to commit. I am ready to feel better physically and mentally. I want to feel good about myself. I want to learn that it is okay to not overeat. I want better for myself. I know that this is what a lot of people want. I would hope that everyone has enough respect for themselves to work on themselves to live a better life.

There are easy steps to start. For me, I bought a journal called I Totally Got This. It has motivational quotes and is designed to help you follow through with changing your life. For my first entry into this journal, I lamented to God. Not everyone believes in a higher power or feels like they have a relationship with their higher power. That is okay, but speaking from experience, building that relationship is extremely comforting and powerful. I lamented to God (an idea preached at my church on Psalm 88) about the way my life had been and how I was going to change it. I mourned the way my life used to be. That was an extremely powerful experience. It is okay to mourn to your higher power or those around you about change in your life. For me, it gave me the confidence and support I needed to make the change in my life that I have been dying to make for a while. It is beneficial to remember that if you are going to lament to a friend or parent, your concerns and complaints can weigh on them. When you lament to God or whoever/whatever you believe in, you can have courage knowing that he/she/it can take it.

I have only just started this new journey in my life. It may not have been long, but I have made great strides. I have already gained confidence. I have started this blog, which I actually first created around January of this year and first had the idea for several years ago. I have eaten healthier and stopped myself on multiple occasions from eating after I knew I was full. I have started multiple projects in my room that I will share with you a little later. I am making strides, and it couldn’t feel any better. I hope this has given you some ideas for starting that thing that you’ve been dying to start. I hope you can believe in yourself and learn what you are capable of.

Lemon-Garlic Shrimp and Grits

Faking it What?

A little introduction into the world of Faking it Made.

I have been planning to start this blog for a long time now. It is actually happening. Get excited folks. I know I am. The title of my blog might seem a little strange. I know I owe you an explanation. In my life, I am a pretty nervous person. I worry and stress and sometimes freak out. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. I want to do well in life and never make mistakes. Pretty delusional thinking, right? The problem with this approach to life is that I don’t know how to do everything right and I will inevitably make mistakes. One of my favorite mantras is “fake it ’til you make it.” I really take that to heart. If you feign confidence, you will feel more confident. If you hold your head up high, you will feel capable of anything. This is the way I want to approach life. I want to be confident in myself even when I don’t truly feel it. I want to step out of my comfort zone. I want to fake it made.

Truth be told, I am not entirely sure what this blog will become. I do know that I will do my best and have fun with it. I want to become a better writer and work on my vulnerability. What better way to work on those things than to start a blog? I hope you enjoy the site. Even if you don’t, I know that I will have a lot of fun creating it. It would be great if you would come along for the journey.

I will give you more details about myself as my site continues to develop. For right now, all you need to know is that I am a pretty happy person who is a perfectionist and loves animals. I don’t actually know the “right” way to “blog”. Is that an excessive amount of quotation marks? I really don’t know. I do know that I will fake it made and hopefully learn more about myself and what I am capable of. Hopefully.