Faking It Made

I wrote this narrative for a class at school. I really wish I could put it in the fiction section. Enjoy my pain.

I pulled up to the compound. With a text to my mom that I made it, I was out of the car, keys in hand, walking to the entrance. The long front windows of the building allowed me to see rows and rows of people seated and facing the entrance. I tried to ignore the fact that if I could see them so clearly, they could see me too. I awkwardly opened the door, and the leader of this group told me I was fine to go straight to the back. I had walked right into a training session. This should have been my first clue that the day was not going to go as planned.

A few weeks prior, I received an email from the Humane Society of Southwest Missouri asking for volunteers to transport dogs and cats to an adoption event at Petsway. My fingers raced along the keys to secure my position as a dog transporter. The time had come for me to fulfill my duty. I was slightly nervous; will the dog like me?

I waltzed straight up to the front desk and stated my business. The girl working asked me what size of dog I would be most comfortable transporting. I told her that I would only be comfortable with a small dog. She assured me that Nakaya was a well-mannered canine and the smallest one they could offer me.

When we arrived at Nakaya’s cage, I saw an adorable, light brown, mixed-breed dog. I also noticed that she was definitely not small. I can still do this. They said she’s sweet, I thought to myself. Nakaya had to be forced out of her cage, and she would not willingly come with me. The lady had lied to me; Nakaya was not a calm, fun-loving dog. When she was finally convinced to follow us to my car, she left behind a puddle.

We finally made it outside to the parking lot, and it was like deja vu; Nakaya wouldn’t get in my car. She had to be lifted onto the seat. I asked the worker, “She will stay where she is, right?”

“Yes she will. She doesn’t move around. She is a really calm dog,” she said. Judging by her history of lying to me, my trust was very thin, and I prayed that she was telling me the truth.

I plugged in Petsway to my GPS. It would only take me about five minutes to get there. Okay I can do this for five minutes. I took a deep breath and put the key in the ignition. I had barely left the parking lot before Nakaya had jumped up to the front seat to sit next to me. I yelled and told her no. She jumped back to the back. Then she decided she wanted to come see me again.

When I pulled up to the Petsway, my fears were not alleviated at all. The parking lot was dead. It must just be early, I thought, trying to convince myself. Next came the hard part of getting the dog out of the car. I walked around to the front passenger’s side door, where Nakaya finally ended up, and pulled on the handle. She jumped right out. Maybe she will start cooperating with me. This was an incorrect assumption.

I started toward the door into the Petsway and Nakaya wouldn’t budge. She was not small, so it took some effort for me to pull her through the door. Safely inside, I noticed it was even deader in the store than the parking lot. When I finally saw people with the bright green Humane Society shirts, they were carting around cages of cats.

“Hi, I’m here for the adoption event,” I said to the woman who seemed to be in charge. I gestured to the leash I held, as if she didn’t know I brought the dog for the event.

A puzzled look took over her face. “This is a cats-only event,” she responded.

My face fell as I realized that all of the stress I had already been through was for nothing. “Well, what am I supposed to do?” I said.

The woman proceeded to tell me that there was a dog adoption event across town and that I was welcome to take Nakaya there. I slightly unloaded on this stranger, telling her of my stressful morning. She agreed that it might be best for me to just take Nakaya back to the shelter.

Defeated but determined, I walked out of the Petsway and to my car. I was going to make it back to the Humane Society without any hiccups. This idea was quickly demolished when Nakaya started to squat in the middle of the parking lot. This cannot be happening. Instead of regular disgusting dog poop, the foul brown substance that came out of this dog was liquid and chunky, and it reeked. When she stood up, signaling the end of her horrific business, I tried to walk quickly to my car. I really didn’t want to have to pick it up. I thought I could live with the guilt. Of course Nakaya’s fear of doors struck down my hopes of leaving once again.

The guilt slowing creeping up on me like the poop now inching down the asphalt, I decided I needed to clean it up. Returning into the building proved to be difficult yet again as I had to pull the larger-than-small dog through the door. The only clerk working was handling a customer, so I stood and waited. When the customer finally made a move for the door, I said, “This dog just pooped in the parking lot. Do you have something I could use to clean it up?”

In reply, she pointed to a few measly paper towels hanging from a dispenser right in front of my face. I knew they would not do the job, but I didn’t see any other options.

When I came back to the door, I held poopy and dripping paper towels in my left hand, and I tried to herd Nakaya through the door with my right. Some diarrhea dripped out of the paper towels and onto the ground right outside the store. I prayed that no one would step in it. A man who saw my struggle opened the door for me, and I pulled Nakaya until she followed. I threw the paper towels in the small trash can near the register. Then I realized I had brown liquid trickling down my hand. I turned around to see if I needed to clean up the drippage outside, and I saw a woman lifting her flip-flopped foot in disgust. She had just stepped in it. This cannot be happening.

I turned quickly to find the bathroom, dodging other dogs and trying desperately not to make eye contact with the Humane Society volunteers who thought I had left 20 minutes ago. After I had successfully cleaned my hands and taken some deep breaths in the bathroom, I made my way to the car. I had to lift Nakaya into the backseat. When I was safely inside, I called the Humane Society to give them a heads up. The lady on the phone seemed surprised and told me about the other adoption event. I made it clear that I was not in sound-enough mind to drive across town with this medium-but-definitely-not-small-sized dog.

With the keys in the ignition, I started the journey back to the shelter. Nakaya was just as indecisive as she was on the way to the event. When the five minutes were up and I was back at the compound, I took a few deep breaths. I pulled Nakaya along through the front doors and up to the desk. I told the woman who helped me get Nakaya out to my car about the misfortunes of the morning and gave her Nakaya’s leash.

With nothing else to say, I made my way back to my car, not allowing the tears to fall until I was alone. I sat in the front seat and looked at the damage. The floor of my back seat was wet. Dirty paw prints covered the tan leather of both the front and back seats of my car. My vision grew blurry as I realized the urine smell would make it extremely difficult to forget this day.

I am now about a week sober. I fell off the self-improvement wagon about a month ago. I stopped reading my affirmations on the daily. I read no devotions. I did no daily planks. I stopped planning out my daily agendas the night before. I was lazy. I was upset with myself and feeling bad about myself. I turned to Netflix for comfort and that only made me feel worse. I was stressed and felt like I couldn’t be motivated to do what I needed to do.

The start of my journey back on the strait and narrow was a podcast. Not just any podcast, but Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. And not just any episode, but the first one ever and with Kristen Bell, his lovely wife. I had heard it before, but I wanted to listen again. Man am I glad I did. They talk about many wonderful things and the beauty of their relationship shines through in the podcast, but what I really enjoyed was when they talked about happiness versus suffering. Kristen said this principle is what helps her make her decisions in life. She doesn’t get hung up on her losses because that would make her suffer. When she or Dax start the day on the wrong foot, they refer to their lists of what lifts their spirits. They choose to do this because they would rather be happy than suffer.

After their wisdom shown upon me (I really felt like it was directed at me), I thought about my unmotivated life at the present moment. I was being led by Netflix and food, which doesn’t sound so bad until you are shirking your responsibilities to partake in these two activities. I needed to change something or I wasn’t going to finish my last college application (update: I got it in!). I wasn’t going to read the book for my upcoming Grammar and Comp class (update: I read most of it!). I wasn’t going to clean my clothes-littered room. It was a mess. Correction, I was a mess.

Okay, I am probably exaggerating a bit, but honestly not too much. I was in a cycle of feeling bad about myself for watching Netflix all the time, but making no moves to do anything better. I also wasn’t working out at all. I have a newfound love for Tae Bo with Billy Blanks. I won’t get into it now, but I will share my obsession soon. Anyway, that podcast gave me some of the motivation I needed. I thought about my own happiness list. What could I be doing to feel happy and get out of this less-than-stellar cycle? I needed to start up my daily ritual again. I wrote out what I wanted to complete that day. I finally finished The Four Agreements, a fabulously wonderful book. I will tell you about that soon too. Guess what affirmation I found in those final pages of the book? The author wrote about happiness versus suffering. This is relevant when interacting with others and yourself. Wow. Talk about just what I needed to read. That gave me more motivation to continue on with my list.

I read my daily affirmations. Check. I read my Jesus Calling devotional for the day, and I even looked up the scriptures that it gives instead of my past behavior of being too lazy to do that part (be extra proud of me for that one). Check. I cleaned up my clothes and separated out my laundry. Check. I did my Tae Bo workout with Billy Blanks. Check. I showered. Check. I worked on my college application. Check, check, check. I am not sharing all of this to show off. Although, I am pretty proud of myself, so I do want some validation. I am sharing this because I did it (again, I’m only slightly searching for validation). I am mostly saying that if I can do it, you can do it too. Get out your list of things to do that spark a fire in yourself to get crap done and be happy. If you don’t already have one, make one. Start today by choosing happiness over suffering in your own life. Once you give yourself that luxury, I can almost completely guarantee (you have to leave room for some error) that you will choose happiness over suffering when you interact with others.

Life is a choice. You can waste away the day and feel sorry for yourself or you can actively choose to correct your own less-than-stellar behavior. You can choose to do the things that make you feel happy and accomplished. I can positively say that I am more than a few days sober from being lazy and doing nothing but procrastinating accomplishments. Things are looking up. This does not mean that I cut out Netflix from my diet for good, but I am actually following my rules of only a couple episodes per day. Don’t read this and think, There is no way that I can have my act together as much as this wonderfully talented and beautiful Hannah. Believe me, it’s not hard to surpass my low level of having myself together. If I can make myself proud, surely you can too.

This year my household was blessed with a Christmas miracle. Okay, so it may not have entirely been intentional, but it was fabulous nonetheless. Let me explain.

A few nights ago, my mom and I were in the car exiting the garage to go to Walmart for some Christmas shopping. As we pulled out, we noticed some bright red lights on our house that we had not seen before. We were amazed. Someone had gifted us Christmas lights. We were confused. Someone had gifted us Christmas lights? Who had done this? Who knew that we had talked about wanting them, but we didn’t want to pay for them? Who knew our address?

We looked around for the hidden cameras, but there weren’t any. We waited for a text telling us who had given us this wonderful present. That text never came. We chalked it up to a Christmas miracle given to us by a Christmas angel and went about our business.

Eager to know who this mysterious, generous being was, my mom posted on Facebook about our little surprise and thanked whoever thought to give us the lights. We ignored the fact that it could have been a mistake. Of course someone had been kind to us. It was definitely not a mistake, right? We didn’t want them to take our lights away if it was a mistake.

Sure enough, the next day my mom got a call. Let me give you a quick backstory. We moved in August, so this is our first Christmas at our new house. On the other end of that phone call was our realtor. He mentioned that we might have some new, bright red additions to our house that we did not ask for. He said that the previous owners of our house ordered the lights, and the company put them up at the wrong address. Okay, maybe nobody purposefully gave us the lights, but we had become attached. Please don’t let them take the lights away. Then the realtor gave us some great news: the company would leave up the lights if we liked them because it was their mistake. That wasn’t even the best part.

The next day, bright and early in the morning, there was a knock at our door. My mom opened it to find two men who were from the Christmas lights company. They came to apologize for the mix-up. My mom assured them that it was no trouble and actually a blessing in disguise. Then you will never guess what they told her. They said that they wouldn’t just want red lights (that was the only color used on our house). Then they offered to change the colors for us. My mom said she didn’t necessarily just want red, but she didn’t want to pay for it. The Christmas lights people said we wouldn’t have to pay; they would do it for free.

Let’s take a moment to summarize. We were given Christmas lights. It turned out to be a mistake. The Christmas lights people let us keep them. They are going to change the colors for us, and we didn’t have to pay for any of it. Like, it was all free. If that is not a Christmas miracle, I don’t know what is.

No matter what is happening in life, there are always positive moments. There are always secret gifts that may turn out to be mistakes but still succeed in putting a smile on your face. You may be the one to make a mistake, but that mistake may touch someone’s life instead. Joy can come from anything. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that those guys from the lights company accidentally came to the wrong house. Now we have a brighter house and fuller hearts. Okay, that was cheesy, but it’s true. Merry Christmas and happy holidays!!

With the cold weather starting, it feels so good to curl up on the couch and watch a good movie. Let me tell you something; I’m in love! I’m in love! And I don’t care who knows it! If you don’t know where that is from, I’m not mad, just disappointed. If that didn’t tell you, I seriously love movies. I will share a few of my favorites with you now. I have seen each one of these movies at least three times, but many of them I have seen many more times than that. Yes some of these are chick flicks, so if you have an aversion to chick flicks, still watch them anyways and tell me how they changed your mind about chick flicks. Also, I am going to put my favorite quotes from the movies before I tell you about them.

1. The Proposal

“Marry me, because I’d like to date you.”

“There it is.”

In this movie, Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) plays the assistant to his uptight and cold editor boss, Margaret (Sandra Bullock). When she is about to be deported for failing to follow the rules of her Visa application (she’s from Canada), she ropes Andrew into marrying her to allow her to keep her job. They spend a weekend together, and needless to say, their feelings about each other change.

I love this movie because it stars amazing actors like Ryan Reynolds (who is extremely attractive, I might add), Sandra Bullock (also quite beautiful), and Betty White. It is extremely hilarious and wonderfully done. Sandra’s character also has my dream job: editor of a publication. If this one doesn’t hook you on chick flicks, I don’t know what will.

2. Hot Pursuit

“Just fall on me like a sack of potatoes.”

“You see, once a month my uterus sheds its lining…”

Hot Pursuit follows Officer Rose Cooper (Reese Witherspoon) as she struggles to follow in her father’s footsteps after an unfortunate mistake. Her first big break is a huge responsibility; she is in charge of ensuring the safety of Daniella Riva (Sofia Vergara), a witness set to testify against a notorious crime lord, Vicente Cortez. They run into some problems and have to figure out who they can trust.

This one never fails to make me laugh. It also has the bloopers at the end which automatically makes any movie better in my opinion. I love the jokes and the storyline and the twists.

3. How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days

“I love you Benny, but I don’t have to like you right now.”

“Drama, drama, drama.”

Wow, what a classic. Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) is the resident How-to Girl at Composure magazine. When an opportunity arises for her to step out of her column and write about more important things, she takes it. Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey) has an opportunity of his own at his advertising job. She needs to scare away a guy, and he needs to make a woman fall in love with him; what could go wrong?

I love this one for so many reasons, but I will only name a few. I want to be a journalist, and Andie is a journalist. Benjamin is hot and charming, and I like to watch attractive and romantic characters in movies. Lastly, the movie is hilarious, and I love to be able to quote funny lines, a talent that is not at all necessary but extremely rewarding (at least to me).  

4. Bruce Almighty

“It’s a B-E-A-utiful day!”

“Smite me, oh mighty smiter!”

I just shared this one with one of my closest friends who had been deprived of the wonderfulness that is Bruce Almighty. Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey) has hit a difficult patch in his life. When he is passed up for a great promotion at work, it is just the icing on the cake. He is convinced that God is out to get him. God (Morgan Freeman) meets with him and gives Bruce his godly powers. Believing he knows what is best, Bruce uses his powers to give himself everything he feels should be his. If you didn’t already guess it, things start getting a little bit crazy.

Before I tell you why I love this movie, just look at the fabulous cast: Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Steve Carell, and Jennifer Aniston. Okay now first, I love it when people try to explain God. I think it is great, and it honestly helps me feel closer to God. This movie also makes me feel like I can understand God better. Additionally, there are many laugh-out-loud moments that, in my opinion, have the ability to make anyone’s day. It is great, trust me.

5. A Little Bit of Heaven

“Not really, this is just the way you wanted to see me.”

“You won a free day of hang gliding where you’ll learn to fly!”

Marley Corbett (Kate Hudson (do you see a trend?)) is a hard-working woman who doesn’t believe in love. When a routine colonoscopy informs her that she has cancer, Marley meets God (Whoopi Goldberg) who grants her three wishes. God decides the final wish for her. Through this news, many changes occur in her life, including finding love with Dr. Julian Goldstein (Gael García Bernal).

I have dished a little bit on my blog about my struggles with vulnerability and letting my emotions out. Let me tell you something; this movie helps me get out my emotions. Surely when you saw that it was about cancer you figured it was a tearjerker. If not, newsflash: it’s a tearjerker. It never fails to make me cry. It also tries to explain a little bit about God, and I love it.

6. Another Cinderella Story

“Check out my totally invisible finger!”

“Buh buh baby got bacne.”

Okay, this was my childhood. Mary Santiago (Selena Gomez) was left as an orphan when her mother, a backup dancer for Dominique Platt (Jane Lynch), passed away. Dominique took her in as a live-in maid. Dominique and her two daughters are intent on making Mary’s life miserable and keeping her from following her dream of becoming a dancer. When Mary meets popstar Joey Parker (Drew Seeley) at a masked dance, she thinks her dream might actually be attainable. Full of mean girls and the classic plot of Cinderella, this movie takes you through the emotional roller coaster that is adolescence.

When I say this was my childhood, I mean it. I have been a huge fan of Selena for forever, so of course I love this movie. I also am a huge fan of stories that modernize fairy tales. The music in it is great, and Jane Lynch’s character is perfectly evil.

7. Made of Honor

“Could someone who is not a misogynist pass the Splenda?”

“We have many gay and lesbian members of the congregation.”

In this beauty of a movie, Tom (Patrick Dempsey) and Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) meet in an unfortunate way in college. This meeting sparked a lasting friendship. Now in their adulthood, Tom and Hannah see each other every day until Hannah gets an opportunity to travel to Scotland. Tom is a major player and doesn’t realize that he wants to be with Hannah and quit sleeping around until Hannah comes back from Scotland with a fiancé. Hannah names Tom her maid of honor, and he obliges with one goal in mind: to steal the bride.

Wow, where do I begin? For starters, one of the main characters shares a name with me, so that is a major plus. I also love a good play on words. This movie really is fabulous because of its cast too. It is great when your favorite actors from an amazing tv show (Grey’s Anatomy) work together on a movie too. Kevin McKidd plays Hannah’s Scottish fiancé, and of course I already mentioned Patrick Dempsey. Busy Phillips is so funny as well, and she plays a jealous bridesmaid. Except, she is not jealous of the bride; she’s jealous of the maid of honor.

8. Red (1 and 2)

“This is just like Love’s Savage Secret.”

“He made the run to emotional safety.”

Red and Red 2 are about a retired CIA agent named Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) who keeps getting pulled back into the business. Red stands for Retired Extremely Dangerous. The first movie follows Frank’s quest to defeat the people terrorizing him and his love interest, Sarah Ross (Mary-Louise Parker). Frank gets his old crew back together for some much-needed help (Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich). The second movie follows Frank and Sarah’s now quiet life as their safety is threatened again. This time they must uncover sensitive information that will allow them to save society.

Okay, first I think the cast speaks for itself. Second, I am a sucker for a good action movie, especially one that stars Bruce Willis as a beast of a man. I love the stunts. I love the plot. I love the characters. I love the humor. I love this movie.

9. Miss Congeniality

“Hey! I’m gliding here!”

“April 25th because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.”

Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock), an FBI agent, makes a big error while on the job. Desperate to make things right and help catch the Citizen, a notorious criminal, Gracie agrees to go undercover at the site of the Citizen’s impending attack: The Miss United States Pageant. Now as Gracie Lou Freebush from New Jersey, Gracie gets a makeover, learns the ropes, and starts forming relationships to find the killer. As time is running out, Gracie must discover the perpetrators and keep the contestants, her newfound friends, safe.

This is another trend as you can see; this movie is about another government agency. I love the action and humor in this movie. Sandra Bullock is an outstanding actress, and you may also have noticed that she is already on this list too. I just love the production of this movie, the strong female lead, and the love aspect of this movie that makes it a chick flick. Please don’t let that turn you away from this movie because it is seriously so great.

10. Game Night

“Oh no, he died!”

“How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay?”

Okay, last one. Game Night follows a group of friends who have game nights together (wow, shocker!). Max (Jason Bateman) and Annie (Rachel McAdams) are having trouble conceiving a child. When their doctor tells them it could be psychological, Max and Annie resolve that it stems from Max’s rivalry with his brother Brooks (Kyle Chandler) and set out to beat him at the upcoming game night he is hosting. This game night is unlike any other with a fake-kidnapping turned real kidnapping and a jealous neighbor. They must determine what is real and what is fake and stay alive during this crazy night.

This movie is hilarious, well-done, and just amazing. I saw it twice in theaters. Then I bought it and watched it again. It is a really funny movie with so many twists and turns. I love the concept behind it, and the cast is great. It is a feel-good comedy with lots of action and suspense thrown in. That is the recipe for a perfect movie in my opinion.

PSA:

If you have not seen one or more of the movies on this list, I urge you to watch them. Please do it for me. If you do it for me, you will in turn be doing it for yourself because you will find that these will be your new favorites too. If you don’t like them, at least you broadened your horizons and did something nice for someone else. I would really appreciate it. Now, “Be the miracle.” Brownie points to whoever can tell which movie that is from.

Uhh, I’ve been shot. No, not with flying Mexican food (if you got that reference, brownie points for you). I have been infected, injected, hit hard, etc. with the procrastination bug. So much for all of my progress, right? Right now I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to plan for college. I don’t want to do my homework. I don’t want to clean my room. You may be wondering what it is that I actually want to do. Well, for starters, I want to eat. I want to eat unhealthy things. Thank goodness we do not have many unhealthy foods at my house. Also, thank goodness that foods I might be inclined to want outside of my house cost money. That is one thing I really don’t want to do: spend money.

What I want to do is watch Netflix. Or Youtube. Or both. I want to waste away my days binging Hart of Dixie for the second time or flooding my brain with the mindless comedy of The Office for the second time or exploring one of the many new Netflix originals.

The point is I don’t want to do anything actually beneficial for myself. Why exactly is that? I am not entirely sure, but I have been procrastinating so much. I am procrastinating writing this. I just played games on my phone instead of writing this. And I am writing this instead of doing my chemistry homework. It is a vicious cycle. The funny thing is, when I actually sit down and work on the things I need to work on, I can bust them out. It is easy and fun. I end up proud of myself. Imagine all I could get done if I removed the procrastination detours and utilized every second I have. I started an online PE class (I know it sounds insane, but it all works) on Tuesday. My first assignment, a one-page paper double-spaced about using heart rate monitors (easy right?), was not due until Thursday night at midnight. I was extremely happy about this and knew that I could get it done early and start on the next assignments. Well, I put it off because it was so easy that I didn’t know where to start. Anyways, once I sat down and actually put my mind to it, I finished it in less than twenty minutes. I haven’t gotten my grade back, but I felt pretty confident about it. That was a great example of how actually working on something allows you to get it done. It’s such a foreign concept, I know.

Right now I am struggling so hard with procrastination. I think I am close to getting over it, but I am not over that hump yet. I need to work on all of my stuff for scholarships and college applications. That is part of my problem. I start thinking about everything I have to get done, and I get overwhelmed. That makes me want to put it off, making me much more stressed later. It is a great experience. I really get irritated with myself when I end up extremely stressed.

This may seem like there is no hope, but I refuse to believe that. I know I can kick it in gear. I just have to want it and motivate myself. I don’t think I am the only one with procrastination sickness, especially among my fellow seniors. I am going to do some spitballing here to see if I can come up with some good ideas to help us all recover. First, I got the apple update (don’t ask me which one, but the newest one as of right now). There is a new feature called screen time. For all of my non-apple users, I am sure there are either programs on your phones or an app you can get that will function similarly. Anyways, with screen time, you can limit your time on certain apps. I don’t know about you, but the most common way for me to procrastinate is to dilly dally on my phone. It is still easy to keep using the apps once you run “out of time,” but at least you are aware of how often you are on your phone. It is a way to keep yourself more accountable.

Another option for us procrastinators is to establish a routine where you write out your to-do list for each day. I already do this, but I really slacked in the beginning of this week (I am finally back on track for this aspect at least). Writing out what you hope to get done is extremely helpful in keeping you organized and on track. Update: I just came back to writing this (it’s been a couple days), and I slacked on my to-do list again. I am planning to get back on track, though, and that has to count for something.

As you can see, I procrastinated writing this. I am procrastinating the articles I need to write for my school’s magazine. I am procrastinating my college essay and scholarship applications. It is a period of extreme procrastination for me. It has been getting me down, but hey, I am finishing this post. I just need to celebrate each victory. Every single time I get something done (and I always do), I end up realizing how easy it was to complete. I always discover that if I had just sat down and put in some effort, I would have been finished and actually had time to hang out and relax. I am writing this so that I can remember. With a little focus, I can accomplish all of the things I need to get done and more. For all of us procrastinators (I really hope this is relatable and not just me rattling on about one of my weaknesses for all to read), we can discipline ourselves. We can utilize our resources, like screen time, to stay focused. We can keep lists and remember what it feels like to be done. Most of all, we can realize that we are not alone (hopefully you understand my pain). Writing this will hold me accountable; find a way to keep yourself accountable.

We can do this!!

P.S. See, I finished!!