Day 60: “Fatherless Father’s Day”
What do you do on Father’s Day
if you’re not currently talking to your dad?
I started by telling my mom happy Father’s Day
She’s always been a wonderful mom and dad for me
I spent some quality time with my partner
And my cat
I read
A lot
I didn’t cry
Or scream
Or pout
I honestly feel numb
What’s under that numbness?
That’s for another day
Day 59: “The Power of a Matching Sweatsuit”
I got a matching red sweatsuit
And I feel unstoppable
Comfort, check
Style, check
Vibe, check
I’m soft
Cozy
Comfy
Fabulous
I feel rich
Expensive
Can you tell this is my first matching sweatpants and sweatshirt set?
I always thought it was unnecessary
Spending money on matching lounge clothes
Things you’ll really only wear at home
I’m here to tell the past me that she was sorely mistaken
First,
I will be wearing this out of the house (once it’s not 90 degrees outside)
Second,
Comfort is definitely worth the investment
Third,
It’s so fun to be in a perfectly matching set
To feel put together
Yet so comfortable
And the best part
Of all of this
Is that my new matching set was on sale
Originally $180
And I got it for $40
Steal!
I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to take it off
Day 58: “Notes App”
I don’t want anything
I need something
Greek salad
Thirty, Flirty & Thriving x2
To do: Prep for party edition
Kitchen mats
Things I need to buy
Elevations in kidney enzymes
Feelings, thoughts, realizations
Refund reference number
Annapolis con mi Bebe
Now that I have my card to buy
Boning, like a corset
Snippets of Grandma for revision
Blood pressure 2023
Agenda for ping pong today
Food blog brainstorm
Mother’s Day Surprise Performance of a Lifetime
The masculine urge to dig a grave
Day 57: “Summer”
I get why there are seasons
I understand that in order to fully appreciate the cold
We need the heat
And vice versa
But
I hate the heat
Therefore I hate summer
I can’t differentiate the summer from the heat
From the constant sweating
The discomfort
The blazing sun
The sunburn
I get heat rash from being outside for two minutes
I get bug bites from being outside for two minutes
I get annoyed from being outside for two minutes
I think I could deal with it when I was younger
Because I didn’t have school
But I always ended up being excited to go back
Excited for fall
Now
As an adult
There is no summer vacation
And I think that’s horrific
I know I need to get over it
Complaining won’t change it
But
Maybe
Just maybe
If I’m loud enough
The season will change
And it’ll start to get cooler
I get the feeling that will happen
If I keep complaining for just a couple more months
Day 56: “Rain”
Sometimes rain
comes
and ruins things
But sometimes
it helps you get to where you want to be
Like sometimes
you want to go home and lay down
and the rain can cancel plans
fun plans
but still
you’re glad to go home
Rain
can also help you release your inhibitions
It truly is a wonderful thing
Day 55: “Smelling the Good”
I’ve got a strong smeller
I get it from my mom
We think she got all of my aunt’s smelling capabilities
Because she was born without a sense of smell
It can be good to have a good sense of smell
Warm chocolate cookies baking in the oven
The salty breeze as the ocean sways and moves along the beach
The smell of rain coming, or just stopping
There’s downsides too
Walking down the street, you can’t ignore the smell of dog shit
You have to hold your breath as runners go by so as to not be accosted by their body odor
Foul smells from outside while you’re driving hit your nose and stay there
I can always smell something
Especially if it’s bad
If my partner smells it too, then I know it’s really bad
I should try to focus my attention on good smells
Try to find the good
Even if I can’t help but get a whiff of urine on the street corner
Day 54: “Places”
Places can be industrial
Dark
Rigid
Or green
Organic
Flowy
Or hard
Grey
High
Or open
Expansive
Eccentric
They can be warm
Inviting
Welcoming
Or all of the above
I love going for a walk near my apartment
Leaving the tall buildings
Stark cityscape
And moving through an industrial
Roadway area
To a community space
With greenery
Trees
But still near the railroad
The river in the distance
Low planes flying overhead
Places mix
Coexist
Even complement
I love it
Day 53: “Musicality”
What does music do for you?
For me
It sets me free
From my mind
My worries
My rollercoaster
It helps me feel
Joy
Sadness
Grief
It makes me
Laugh
Cry
Smile
It makes me so happy I could cry
So sad I could smile
It confuses me
Makes me think
Connects with me
Connects me
It makes me dance
Sing
Move
It fills me
Expands me
Releases me
I feel
Again
Again
Again
Never ending
Always discovering
Me
Press play
And melt
Jump
Cry
Laugh
Stop
Go
Relax
Energize
Then come back down to earth
Day 52: “Routine”
I’ve never been good at routine
One low energy day
One low energy hour
One low energy second
And I abandon all that’s good for me
I revert
To old patterns
Even if they don’t serve me
I’d rather
Have my new routines
Be my fallback
How do I get there?
Repetition
And
Routine
Or maybe it starts with intention
I intend to build better habits
There
It’s solved
Day 51: “Empty Battery”
It’s hard to be social
When you’re tired
Especially when you’re introverted
That battery is empty
But there are people all around
Do you think it’s okay to take a nap?
It’s the worst
to be a people pleasing
introvert
I need to take time to myself
But I feel bad about it
I need to work on that
Faking It Made 