Category: Poetry

A Poem a Day: a Series – Day 2

As I continue this series, I find myself wanting to edit, change, and make excuses for the poems I create. I decided when I started this that I will not edit or judge what I create; I will just allow the poems to help me get things off of my chest. This is a challenge for me because I always seek perfection and want people to like me and like the work I create. As I share this poem, which happens to not be my most favorite thing I’ve ever written, I will grant myself grace and release the words into the void (aka the Internet). Maybe I will use this internal struggle as inspiration for my poem tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Day 2: Untitled

Tears threaten

My brain is flooded with nothingness

My only success

from the day

is learning about musicians and the making of music

But I have no motivation for actual classwork.

I feel like shit.

I need to calm down.

I need to loosen my reins on control.

A Poem a Day: a Series – Day 1

There is a lot going on in the world, and I often struggle with letting out my internal thoughts and emotions. I decided to start writing a poem every day to help me let go of things I tend to hold on to that don’t serve me. The poems are short and not necessarily the best things ever written, but they are a therapeutic outlet for me. Maybe this is something that would interest you, or you have another artistic outlet you would like to explore on a daily basis. So, you can tag along for the ride and maybe even create something for yourself, too.

Day 1: “Procrastination”

Apathy pulls me

Laziness moves me

The screen controls me

I sit up

The blanket falls

I clean

I cook

I work out

But nothing gets done

Seasons Change

The light shines, glistens on the pond
The green so sweet; I’ve grown so fond
A bird chirps and sings her melody
A dream so far, a distant remedy
The sky so bright, a sacred bond

A fear so big for what’s beyond
I don’t want to leave, to end this song
Nature floats, a sight so heavenly
The light shines, glistens on the pond

Mother calls, waves her heavy wand
A change too big; I don’t respond
Here I want to be so desperately
This transition could end in tragedy
I promise to return, to correspond
The light shines, glistens on the pond

Repeating History

Hate

Bigotry

Pain

War

Ignorance

 

Repeat

 

Repeat

 

No listening

No learning

No communicating effectively

 

We bicker

We raise our voices

To reiterate the fact that we are right

And you are wrong

 

There is no gray area

I hate you because you don’t believe what I believe

I will not listen to your experience

I will not try to understand why you believe what you do

 

Instead

 

I will complain

I will yell

I will cry

I will scream

That it’s not fair

That people are crazy

That our country is doomed

 

I will feel helpless

Hopeless

All fight gone

All drive gone

Limp

And lifeless

 

I will continue the cycle

 

Hate

Bigotry

Pain

War

Ignorance

 

I will live in my bubble

I will not listen to you

I will not love you

I will not do anything

But wait

 

Wait for the time when I do not have to feel angry

For a time when all of those around me believe like me

For a time when we can all agree

For a time when I do not have to raise my voice just to try to be heard

 

I will wait

 

And nothing will get done

 

Standing Tall

I stand

Shoulders back

Which is hard for someone so used to using poor posture

To cower down

And hide away

 

I stand

Smile wide

No longer to try to make up for something

But showing what I know is inside

What I know I can do

 

I stand

Ready for anything

Instead of butterflies

I feel the quiet

The calm

I can do it

 

I stand

Ready for conversation

No longer shying away

No longer trying to skate by

But wanting to form relationships

Wanting to make a difference

In someone’s life

In my own

 

I stand

Thoughts positive

Radiating outward

Spreading love

To others

To myself

 

I stand

Excited

With what I’ve done

With how far I’ve come

For the future

For my life

 

So I push my shoulders back

I smile bright

I stand

Ready for anything

Ready for my life

 

I know now

That I am brave

That I have changed

That I am strong

That I am confident

That I can do this

That I have done it

 

That I will continue

Improving

Changing

Smiling

Standing tall

 

I will continue

 

I can do this

 

 

A New Normal

Home

Is it where I have been all my life?
The same room
The same kitchen
The same yard

The same life

Is it who I’m with?
My mom
My brother
My pets

Can it only describe one place?
Stationary and unmoving
No place just like it?

Or can it be reinvented?
Can moving be creating a new home?
Will change create a new home?
A new normal?

But what happens to the old?

Leaving behind the life I knew
What is next?
Where will I go?
How will I feel?

Can home be created a thousand times
A million times
In a lifetime?

The next home I go
Will be far away
Far away from the life I knew

Loss and change have taken people away
There is sadness and triumph
Who will fill my new home?

All of this
Change
Excitement
Fear
Will be used to create

A new life

A new normal

A new home

And it all starts with me

Trying

I am trying hard to succeed
I want the praise and attention
For my hard work and dedication

I am trying hard to win
I should be there by now
Why can’t I do it?

I am trying hard to stay positive
But I’m just so angry
At the game, at my opponent

At myself

I am trying hard to smile
To be proud
To be okay

I am trying hard to breathe deeply
The panic is climbing
My crying is deafening

I am trying hard to look at myself
In a positive light
With love and affection

I am trying hard to take away the pain
And make myself heal
And make myself comfortable

No more threats
No more pain

But no more achievement

I am trying hard to fall in love
With the sport I once loved
With the person I have become

I am trying hard to branch out
To break free
To be okay

I really want to be okay

I am trying but I am failing
I need help
I don’t know what I want

I am trying hard to make up my mind
I am trying hard to change my life
I am trying…

Am I trying too hard?


IMG_7812
The sunset at Cooper Tennis Complex.

This Too Shall Pass

Time
Ticking, tocking
Short hand
Long hand
Seconds, minutes, hours

It doesn’t take long
For greatness
For failure
For happiness
For despair

Win a tournament
Time passes
Break a bone
Time passes
Happy together
Time passes
Lose a loved one
Time passes

This too shall pass

Time
Doesn’t wait
Doesn’t stop
It’s always moving
Always there

Learn from time
Don’t wait
Don’t stop
Keep moving
Stay here
In the moment

Because

This too shall pass