Day 80: “What Do You Do”
What do you do
When your pet is dying
My heart is breaking
I wish she could tell me what she needs
I don’t want her to be in pain
I can’t stop crying
How do I know when it’s her time?
Now she just lays with me
I cry
And she’s probably wondering, “What’s her problem?”
Day 75: “Bad News”
I got some bad news
I was living in delusional bliss
Believing my cat would live forever
Never leave me
But that is not the case
I’m not stupid
I know she won’t live forever
But I can’t accept
That she’ll leave me
I’m not ready
Fingers crossed today’s bloodwork tells a different story
Day 39: “Manifestation”
When I was 8
my ex-stepsister (at the time she was my stepsister, but she’s not anymore)
had a stuffed cat that was curled into a sleeping ball
the cat was brown with black markings
and when you put batteries in it,
it breathed
its stomach would rise and fall
and it would purr
I loved that thing
When I was 9
I heard a kitten crying in our tree out front
I waited
and finally
she ran out from under to the house next door
she had beautiful black markings
part bengal, we found out later
I fed her and my ex-stepdad (he was my stepdad at the time, but he’s not anymore)
said we could keep her
Now she’s 14
living with me and my partner
when I feel lonely
I cuddle with her
and lay my head on her stomach as it rises and falls with her breath
and she purrs
that’s what peace feels like
then she gets annoyed with me
and gets up to leave me
but first,
I hug her
and kiss her
and tell her I love her
Faking It Made 