There’s too many to count
too much to say
Would anyone want to hear it anyway?
I feel frustrated
Angry
Sad
And Scared
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my lungs
And it’s just day one
There’s too many to count
too much to say
Would anyone want to hear it anyway?
I feel frustrated
Angry
Sad
And Scared
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my lungs
And it’s just day one
People sleep
In the dark
In the cold
outside
People sleep
In the dark
Bundled up and warm
inside
People live
To survive
People live
To thrive
People die
Because of the color of their skin
Because protection under the law is not guaranteed to them
Because people in power do not represent them,
do not celebrate them,
do not see them
People die
Because of old age
Because they lived a full life of protections and privilege
Because that is what happens at the end of life for them, not in the middle
People shout
Our Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter
I Can’t Breathe
As they take to the streets to demand justice
To demand equality
To demand safety and opportunity
People shout
Obscenities laced with racism
A product of privilege and ignorance
An embarrassment to society that is all too common
People cry
In the wake of the death of their loved ones
In the wake of the state of the country
In the wake of what this country was built on
And what it tries so desperately to forget and deny and suppress
People cry
When they learn the truth
When they try to understand
When they acknowledge their part
People unite
With the understanding that not everyone can understand
But that change is necessary
And acknowledgement is vital
That reparations start with a collective apology
A collective confession
A collective frame shift
A call to action
A Revolution
Led by the people
The people who have needed the world to affirm
that Their Lives Matter
“It’s not your fault.”
Fear
Guilt
“It’s not your fault.”
Shame
Pain
“It’s not your fault.”
Denial
Delusion
“It’s not your fault.”
Pleading
Screaming
“It’s not your fault.”
Deafening
Sickening
“It’s not your fault.”
Numb
Empty
“It’s not your fault.”
But it is
I sink lower
and
lower
The sand in my head
Pulls me in
Each grain is coarse
It reaches all of me
Scratching me
I lean into the discomfort
I deserve it
I fall
deeper
Letting the sand
s e t t l e
When I emerge
Soft and smooth
Refreshed
The coarse sand is washed away
with the
waves
I am left with reckless desire
It threatens to break me
A waning wish, ever so dire
I give in, letting it take me higher
Hoping to find you, hoping to see
I am left with reckless desire
Red gleams in the flames of the fire
I remember your wish to stay, your quiet plea
A waning wish, ever so dire
I see the ripped fabric on the barbed wire
My regret is crushing; I did not foresee
I am left with reckless desire
You’re gone and there’s no rectifier
My heart pleads but there’s no guarantee
A waning wish, ever so dire
I see the tears; you’re not the only crier
The waves crash on the sand of the sea
I am left with reckless desire
A waning wish, ever so dire
The light shines, glistens on the pond
The green so sweet; I’ve grown so fond
A bird chirps and sings her melody
A dream so near, an approaching remedy
The sky so bright, a sacred bond
A fear so big for what’s beyond
I don’t want to leave, to end this song
Nature floats, a sight so heavenly
The light shines, glistens on the pond
Mother calls, waves her heavy wand
A change too big, my future pawned
Here I want to be so desperately
Taken too soon, rooted in tragedy
I promise to return, to correspond
The light shines, glistens on the pond
This is my last post in this series. I am so grateful to the people who read my poems, and I hope everyone enjoyed them. I am very glad I did this series because I was able to get into a routine of posting every day. I love the therapeutic nature of poetry, and I will definitely carry that into other posts on my blog. Here’s to more content more often!
Day 30: Untitled
A blanket of clouds
snuggled up
An escape from the never-ending bombardment of the screen
The cold air
pushes me closer
to the pillowy, soft fortress
I close my eyes
willing myself to sleep
my mind wanders
the desire to sleep fades
as I begin planning my entire future
Day 29: “Spring Allergies”
Fuzziness
Stuffiness
inhabits my brain
and nose
and throat
The sky is bright
the trees have bloomed
outside is oh so inviting
But I lock myself in
stare out the window
breathing normally
enjoying the view
Spring is here
Day 28: “In the Heights”
A day
in the heights
seeing people
and the neighborhood
el barrio
at risk of gentrification
but teeming with life
unlikely conversations on street corners with strangers
upstanders and venders
observers and actors
I capture it all
with my camera
Day 27: “Change is a Four-Letter Word”
Change is a four-letter word
I don’t mean big, monumental, societal change
That’s good and important and necessary
I’m talking about day-to-day change
The stuff that messes up what you planned in your head
It’s as little as what you’ll have for breakfast
Or as big as getting two job opportunities
instead of the one you were planning on
This change can still be good and important
and I know it’s necessary
But I don’t like it!
Day 26: “Laundry”
The laundry pile grows
I move it out in the open
so I have to stare it down as I go through my day
Who will win the staring contest?
The stubborn adult
or the ever-growing, ever-flowing
pile of clothes
The desire for clean sheets almost forces me to retire
Then I remember
to check the linen closet
I make my bed and look to the pile as if to say,
“Your move.”
Day 25: Untitled
Waiting ’til the last second
is a rush
my heart pounds
my hands shake
I shouldn’t be okay
with starting work so close to its due date
But it’s becoming a trend, a rush
a win
that’s even sweeter
than one achieved by careful consideration
and dedication
I’m learning to love a sloppiness
disguised as a piece of art.
Day 24: Untitled
So much injustice
a country founded on suppression, oppression
A hypocrisy so violent
so troubling
so racist
A country praised for “freedom”
when freedom is dependent on the color of your skin
Ignorance runs rampant
I sit and wonder, “What’s so great about America anyway?”