Day 203: “The Present is a Friend”
Today I learned
I’ve been at war with the present moment
The now has always been a means to an end
A stop on the way to the great big something
The future I’m working toward
Clawing my way toward
But now is now
And that future is beautiful yet uncertain
Is in my mind
Not in my body
Today I’m refocusing
Getting back in my body
Putting my weapons down
And putting my arms out for the here and now
Day 201: “Mind the Gap”
Mind the gap
In your mind
As you walk
As you grow
There’s a stepping off point
Where a lift is needed
A new approach
A change in perspective
All events in life
are lessons in perspective
So take the step
Careful of the crevice
Or leap over it
And see what’s waiting on the other side
Day 199: “Depths of the Human Experience”
How do you heal all of the versions of you?
How do you dig deep,
bring it all to the surface
and feel?
It’s daunting
Not sure if I can dive that deep
Hold my breath for that long
Let me just dip my toes in
Day 198: “Habitual Growth”
I’m trying to be good
Strong
Productive
And I’m doing it
I’m actually doing it
Don’t pinch me
Let me keep this up
Wait until it becomes second nature
Day 190: “Therapy Wins”
Historically
I’ve felt embarrassed when I cry in front of others
Especially people I don’t know well…
Or at all
But tonight
I cried
I cried
And I cried
In front of people
I spoke and shared what I wanted to
With tears in my eyes
And a frog in my throat
I didn’t know I’d be so emotional!
But I shared
And I cried
And I cried
And I cried
I felt what I needed to
And I didn’t feel embarrassed
I didn’t feel judged
By others
But that wasn’t the point
I didn’t judge myself
Another win from therapy
Day 189: “Stay the Course”
The future I envision
makes my heart swell
my face light up
my body relax
my soul smile
It centers me
Pushes me
Steers me
Let me figure out how to make it happen
Day 187: “Waiting Game”
Why are we constantly in a waiting game?
Waiting for this to happen so I can finally make that change and be fulfilled
I blame society
For needing money and stability
But I really want to just say fuck it
And live the life of my dreams
What if I don’t have to wait?
Maybe what’s really holding me back is fear
Day 184: “Growing Up”
I remember
When the days were simpler
When my hands were smaller
When my eyes were bigger
I remember
When my heart beat faster
When the stars shone brighter
When the world fit into my small town
When I carried more
Felt less
When my fluttering heart couldn’t take much more
When my shoulders slumped
And my head fell
When I didn’t know what I’m worth
When I smiled more
When I pushed myself aside
for the greater good
for the greater god
Now
Shoulders back
My head sits higher
I feel
And only carry what I need
I put stuff down
Run carefree
I breathe
I’ve learned to jump
And fly
And listen to me
I feel my power
Know within
What a joy it is
to grow up
Day 183: “New Leaf”
Staring out the window
On a long ride
Wondering about the future
Wondering when it’s time
Tired
Beaten down
When is it time
To get out of town
To drive away
Start another
Start again
Leave it all behind
Riding steady
Build the life I want
Brick by brick
Open up
Turn the page
Write a new chapter
Begin again
I guess I don’t have to wait
Day 182: “Thinker”
Sometimes you have to look at it from the outside
Ask for help
Travel around the edges of the problem
Searching for a crack,
A crevice,
You can sneak through
Sometimes consulting someone else
Is enough to spot the space
Where you can shimmy in
And make a change
And sometimes
It’s even easier than you thought
Faking It Made 