Tag: anxiety

A Poem a Day: a Series – Day 219

Day 219: “Fear: an Outlook on Life”

I realize that there’s always two outlooks

Sometimes more

ways to look at things

Find the good

The positive

But it’s hard

when you’re scared

scared of loss

scared of that feeling

scared to be alone

I don’t want to be left alone

I’ve felt it before

And it’s terrible

I know that I’m never alone

I have myself

And blah, blah, blah

But sometimes I need to wallow

Sit in fear

Stir in imagined disaster

I’m not sure why that is

But that’s where I’m at now

I’ll lay my head

down to rest

And hope the fear doesn’t spill into my dreams

A Poem a Day: a Series – Day 157

Day 157: “Inside My Brain”

Crickets

My brain is currently crickets

Well actually it’s bees

And flies

Swarming

There’s noise and wind and stickiness and

It’s a ruckus

The sun is shining, though

There’s open fields

Wildflowers

Swarming and buzzing and swarming and buzzing

And the occasional cricket

When I lose my train of thought

Or lose the inspiration

Flies and swarming bees

I’d like quiet

And to not be at risk of being bitten or stung

A Poem a Day: a Series – Day 152

Day 152: “Travel Ritual”

Why is it

That every time I go out of town

I fall apart before

I have to get everything done

And somehow I left everything for the last minute

As I’m writing this

I need to do the dishes

Put my clothes away

And pack

But I think I’ll just watch Secret Lives of Mormon Wives with my boyfriend

I can sleep on the bus

A Poem a Day: a Series – Day 96

Day 96: “Not Feeling”

I don’t really feel like being witty

I don’t feel like being smart

I don’t feel like cracking jokes

I don’t feel like cracking smiles

But I also don’t feel like frowning

I don’t feel like pouting

I’m in an in-between place

The air is still

There is no sound

No time

I don’t feel like caring

I don’t feel like being numb

Maybe I’m just overwhelmed

By the state of the world

By everyday life

Maybe I just need a break

A Poem a Day: a Series – Day 25

Day 25: “Anxiety”

My brain likes to make up stories

Not fun, heartwarming

Tuck-your-kids-in-bed kind of stories

No, they’re unnecessary

Disturbing

Wake-up-screaming kind of stories

Like why do I have a recurring thought that my cat will make it onto my balcony

And fall off

And why did I have a different thought today that my dog

(Who lives with my mom back home)

Would make it onto my balcony

(But in my head it wasn’t even my balcony—it looked different)

And jump onto my patio furniture

(That I don’t have)

And step onto the concrete ledge

(My balcony has steel bars)

And fall off

Horrifying

Unnecessary

Yet involuntary

I didn’t ask to have that thought

Yet it happened

I just have to pray I’m not psychic

And hope it’s just anxiety