Day 220: “The Hum of the Beetle”
When I see a beetle,
I don’t feel fear
Instead I’m reminded
To live a little
To live my life
Because death is coming
But life is now
Day 220: “The Hum of the Beetle”
When I see a beetle,
I don’t feel fear
Instead I’m reminded
To live a little
To live my life
Because death is coming
But life is now
Day 212: “Indignant in the Face of Grief”
The more I know that death is part of life
It seems I’m more resistant
I don’t want to say goodbye
Don’t want to lose
To have lost
I want them all here
Everyone
Back and happy
And alive
Why is that too much to ask?
Day 207: “Subconscious Grief”
Loss
Feels like a fading away
A slipping through my fingers
Lack
Not enough time
Love still to give
I can’t comprehend it
Can’t believe
He’s gone
They’re all gone
It doesn’t make sense
My dreams are full of attempts at changing it
Bringing him back
Actually, he never left
It doesn’t feel fair,
okay
It’s definitely not right
Sometimes I see the beauty in life and death
But more often than not I just feel sad
Mad
Oh so upset
There’s no resolution
Grief is a fickle thing
I guess I’ll just turn out the light
Try to get some sleep
And see if he’ll visit me in my dreams
Day 163: “Fear is a Synonym of Grief”
Grief is a lot of things
But a big one is fear
Fear of absence of physical presence
Fear of being left all alone
Fear of the unknown
Of having to be resilient
Of being pushed to resilience
Fear of missing someone
Every day
So badly
It hurts to your core
Fear of being in pain
Fear of the despair this pain brings
Fear of not being able to crawl out
Of the dark hole
Of loneliness
Sadness
Deep, deep despair
Of loss
It can really be debilitating if you let it
Day 149: “Box”
We had to go back today
To the vet
To pick up our girl
I’m glad she’s home
But it’s strange to have her life
Reduced to a box of ashes
I kiss the box
Imagining I’m kissing her
Willing her to feel it
To know I love her
To know I miss her
Day 137: “Life in Death”
Knowing that we’re all going to die
Is actually really comforting
We’re all in this together
The human experience
We can’t escape it
Confronted with our own mortality
It’s actually the only certainty there is
We’re going to die
Instead of letting that be scary
Maybe it could be really freeing
Live now
Because that’s all we know we have for sure
Try to leave the world a better place
Because no matter what
We will leave it
Day 79: “Death Doesn’t Make You a Hero”
Death doesn’t absolve you of the damage you did when you were alive
Let me say that in terms you’ll understand
Death doesn’t erase your sins on earth
We have a real problem with telling it like it is in this country
We’re really afraid to speak ill of the dead
Why?
Some people were monsters and should be remembered as such
No, death does not make you a good person
No, not even a tragic death
Death does give the final say
Often in conjunction with irony
Giving a deeper meaning
Please, don’t lose the plot
A horrible, hateful, racist, homophobic, transphobic, Islamophobic, misogynistic, sexist, pro-genocide man in life
Doesn’t make a hero in death
You can’t just chalk it up to a difference of political opinion
A tirade against anyone who is not straight, cisgender and white is NOT a product of political opinion
It is a product of violence and hate
And you can’t hide behind religion
A man who stood for violence in many forms
Met his death with a bullet
A death no one should face
But for someone so obsessed with guns
It sounds like fate